I get asked about this all the time...
How I reclaimed my life, unlearned the grind and embraced a slow and simple life after multilevel marketing.
When I left multilevel marketing in early 2019, I didn’t realise it would be this cataclysmic event that would change the course of my life from then on. The very notion of me leaving and moving on, happened so slowly and quietly, that it could have been mistaken as almost a non-event in my life.
I guess, as with so many key life events, it’s only in hindsight that you realise just how monumental something was. Leaving the MLM world, which I came to understand operated much like a cult, was a transformative experience. Unlearning the manipulative teachings and high-pressure tactics that had dominated my life allowed me to see the value in a slower, more intentional approach to living. Leaving required me to unlearn everything I had been taught (or brainwashed to believe…) about success, wealth, and happiness.
As I distanced myself from the relentless hustle and the toxic culture of positivity, constant recruitment and living only for the MLM, I began to embrace a lifestyle rooted in simplicity and mindfulness. The pressure to achieve unrealistic financial goals melted away, allowing me to find joy in the small, meaningful moments of everyday life. This shift led me to prioritise slow living, where I could focus on the things that truly bring me joy: genuine connections, personal growth, and a deeper appreciation for the present. In shedding the MLM mindset, I discovered a more authentic and fulfilling way to live. Leaving was, so I would learn, the key to the life I was destined to live.
Are you worried about whether a company you or a loved one is involved with or buy from is an MLM? You can check this master list here.
I first joined an MLM in 2015. Feeling lost, vulnerable and stuck in a job I would go as far to say I hated, I was the target audience. One night I was scrolling on Instagram, in late 2014, when I saw someone I followed posting about how their side hustle was going to do x,y & z for their family. I was disillusioned with my job, needed more money to be able to pay for my Master’s Degree studies, and I was in a long distance relationship with my now-husband and so commuting to see each other every weekend was also costly. I was definitely attracted to the idea that I could earn an extra income around all the other commitments in my life.
I was the perfect candidate to be susceptible to the messaging that multilevel marketing companies put out. The message that the MLM is the answer to all of your problems. It might be that you need an additional income, that you want to achieve ‘financial freedom’, or even ‘time freedom’ (to copy a few key MLM phrases). It’s the message that if you just work hard and grind within the MLM, you will find success.
What it doesn’t mention is that statistically 99.6% of those in an MLM will either not make or lose money, that you’re more likely to make money through gambling, and that the 0.4% of participants who are ‘successful’ do so at the known detriment of those who they enroll (which arguably I wouldn’t consider a success at all, I’d consider that scamming good people out of their money…). That doesn’t even scratch the surface of the number of red flags within the business model that participants are trained (ie, brainwashed) to ignore. Whether that be the pyramid structure, the toxic positivity, or many of the cult-like tactics that exist from the top down.
In late 2014, I reached out to her, and she asked me to email her. I did, but wouldn't you know it, the email bounced, and I let it slide for a while. It would have been great if the story ended there, but it didn't. Fast forward to February 2015, I responded to something she shared again. This time, I followed through and ended up enrolling as a distributor. I was totally drawn in by how much fun she seemed to be having, and I wanted a piece of that. Now, I realise that’s exactly how MLMs operate. They sell you this dreamy lifestyle to reel you in, and for over 99% of people, that dream never becomes a reality, at least not through the MLM itself. That’s the hook they use to lure you into their business opportunity.
I’d argue that the brainwashing and cult-like tactics begins during the recruitment phase, but once you’re on the inside the really work really begins to change your mindset and flip the switch on what success means inside the MLM. There is so much that makes them problematic, so let’s take a look.
What makes them problematic?
MLM schemes and cults share several characteristics that can make them particularly manipulative and controlling.
Indoctrination and Mindset Control: Much like cults, MLMs often use intense indoctrination techniques to shape the beliefs and behaviors of their members. This can include repetition of slogans, motivational talks, and seminars designed to create a strong sense of identity and commitment to the MLM's ideology.
Isolation from Outside Influences: MLMs may encourage or pressure members to cut or loosen ties with friends and family who are skeptical of the business. This is dressed up as not giving time and energy to those who can’t or won’t support you. This isolation can make members more dependent on the MLM community and its leaders, similar to how cults isolate members from the outside world.
Promises of Wealth and Success: MLMs often promise financial freedom, wealth, and your dream lifestyle, much like cults promise enlightenment or salvation. These promises can be very compelling, especially when presented with stories of success and testimonials from existing members. It’s important to remember that most people in MLM’s are selling a dream that they themselves haven’t achieved. This is incredibly problematic because it is outright lying.
Fear and Guilt Tactics: Cults and MLMs frequently use fear, guilt, and shame to manipulate behaviour. This can include fear of failure, guilt for not recruiting enough people, or shame for doubting the system. These tactics are designed to keep members in line and committed to the cause.
Recruitment Focus: Both MLMs and cults focus heavily on recruiting new members, often using high-pressure sales tactics. The emphasis on recruitment can create a culture of competition and deceit, as members are encouraged to recruit others at any cost.
Control Over Information: Just like cults, MLMs may control the flow of information, presenting only the positive aspects of the business while downplaying or concealing the risks and challenges. This selective information is designed to keep members uninformed about the true nature of the business.
Leaders as Authority Figures: MLMs often have charismatic leaders who are revered and treated as authority figures, much like cult leaders. These leaders are seen as infallible and are given significant power over the lives and decisions of their followers.
Exploitation of Vulnerabilities: MLMs, like cults, often prey on individuals who are vulnerable or seeking purpose, financial stability, or community. They exploit these vulnerabilities to draw people in and keep them engaged, often at great personal cost.
Black-and-White Thinking: MLMs often promote a dichotomy of “us versus them,” where the MLM community is seen as the only path to success and all outside viewpoints are dismissed as negative or unhelpful. This black-and-white thinking can reinforce the sense of loyalty and dependence on the MLM structure.
Be sure to check out my previous blog post on How Multi-level marketing (MLM) companies use the bait and switch method to hook you in.
So how does it come together?
For the longest time I never really knew how to speak out on MLM’s because let’s be honest, those who are caught in it still shout into the abyss that those who speak out are miserable, unsuccessful haters (LOL). I was so torn between wanting to share my slow and simple life and use my own experience of what I learned (or unlearned maybe) to ensure that others didn’t waste their time and money on something similar. But it was then that I realised that leaving multilevel marketing was the catalyst to beginning my slow and simple life. Brainwashed and berated for years for not hustling hard enough, that the only reason why success didn’t find you was because you weren’t working hard enough. Being in an MLM often feels, for most, like living under a constant cloud of self-doubt and relentless pressure. The brainwashing is subtle yet pervasive, with every meeting, zoom and training session, etc reinforces the idea that any lack of success was entirely your fault — you aren’t working hard enough, you don’t believe in yourself enough, you aren't recruiting enough people.
The indoctrination had been so strong that it took time to unravel the mindset I had been conditioned to accept. As I distanced myself, I began to regain clarity and rediscover my own values and aspirations. The overwhelming pressure lifted, replaced by a sense of freedom and empowerment. I was no longer chasing an elusive dream sold by the MLM; instead, I was beginning to carve out a more authentic and fulfilling path for myself. Life on the other side of multi-level marketing feels like a breath of fresh air, filled with a sense of freedom and authenticity that was missing before. No longer bound by the relentless pressure I’ve reclaimed my time and energy for things that genuinely matter to me. My life is no longer fodder for the MLM, every life win no longer has to be attributed to the MLM. The constant toxicity has been replaced with peace and contentment, allowing me to fully engage in the present moment. I now spend my days exploring hobbies I once neglected, nurturing relationships with loved ones, and enjoying the simple pleasures of life without the looming shadow of unrealistic expectations.
Embracing a slower and simpler life has allowed me to rediscover the beauty of mindfulness and intentionality. I’ve learned to value quality over quantity, focusing on meaningful experiences rather than material gains. This shift has led to a more balanced and fulfilling lifestyle, where I can appreciate the little things that bring joy and satisfaction. Each moment feels richer and more profound, unburdened by the constant hustle and grind that once dominated my existence.
Financially, I’ve also experienced a positive transformation. Without the need to invest in the MLM in all kinds of ways, I’ve been able to save money and make more thoughtful financial decisions. This newfound stability has alleviated much of the financial strain I previously faced, contributing to a greater sense of security and well-being.
Ironically life after MLM has been a journey towards simplicity, where less truly feels like more and I have created the life I thought I was looking for. I’m more connected to myself and my surroundings, living a life that aligns with my values and aspirations, I run my own successful small business that helps us to create the life we want and I’m finding joy in the everyday moments that make life truly worth living.
Of course someone in an MLM will tell you the MLM provides all of those things, but for 99.6% of people it doesn’t and it’s worth remembering that.
MLM’s are fueled by hustle culture.
Don’t let people trapped inside them tell you that you aren’t doing enough.
Resources:
The Controversy of Anti-MLM Education: Is It Anti-Women?
The predatory nature of multi-level marketing
FTC Resources on MLMs – https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/multi-level-marketing-businesses-and-pyramid-schemes
FTC – 99% failure rate in MLM’s
FCA Resources on schemes – https://www.fca.org.uk/scamsmart/get-rich-quick-scams
Action Fraud: Pyramid Scheme Fraud – https://www.actionfraud.police.uk/a-z-of-fraud/pyramid-scheme-fraud
How MLMs And Cults Use The Same Mind Control Techniques
How MLM’s use the BITE Model (a known cult tactic) – https://freedomofmind.com/multi-level-marketing-and-self-help-cult-groups-learn-the-warning-signs/
I'd add one to the "shame and isolation" list.
MLM just does not go down anywhere near as well in the UK as it does in - ooh, let's say the USA and Australia!
For whatever reason, cynical Brits are less easy bait.
When you go to a "big" regional gathering, it is therefore distinctly Poundland compared to the ones you've watched online.
So, now not only are you briefed against your friends and family who "don't support you," you also learn to denigrate your country and compatriots for not getting it. How's that for isolation? Where you're from is at the root of your identity, and girl, it's just not good enough!
Well done for speaking out, Amy! It needs saying.